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  • Writer's pictureClaire

Let's Join a Cult Vol. 3: Kylie Cosmetics

Oh, Kylie Jenner. I hate that I like you. I hate how you've somehow ensnared me with your cutesy packaging and used your releases to make me panic-buy things. I tried to avoid you - I do not follow your brand on social media nor you personally. And yet, here we are. You found a way. Your products creeped into my feed via others and I was entranced by the chubby doe foot applicators of your High Gloss. One influencer said she was obsessed with your blushes and suddenly two were in my cart. But am I convinced? Clearly I've shown up to orientation - but am I officially joining your cult? Let's talk through some products and decide, shall we?

First up, the blushes. I purchased the lightest shades, Pink Power and Close to Perfect ($18 each). Close to Perfect, is, well, aptly named. A pale peach, this color warms my fair skin just enough to look lively and I've reached for it several times since purchasing. Pink Power is a bit too cool toned for me, as I worried it would be, and I actually think it would have a better contrast and color pay off if my skin had a touch of tan. However, since I haven't let my skin see the sun unprotected in years, that'll probably never happen. It's still pretty, but of the two I much prefer Close to Perfect. Kitten Baby and We're Going Shopping, the other shades that were calling my name, were sold out by the time I made it to the site. I've periodically checked back to see if King Kylie (I begrudgingly adore her nickname) has restocked them. She has not. (I refuse to sign up for emails or follow the instagram, damnit). I hope she never does, I worry I would buy them. I do not need them.

Formula wise, the blushes are described as a matte powder. However they are densely pressed and, to me, feel like they have a cream base. If you've ever tried the Clinique Cheek Pop blushes, the formula is reminiscent of those. There is little to no fall out and the formula is easily buildable to a point. What I mean by that is there comes a point where the product will start to pile up and pill if you've added too much. I recommended well prepped skin before application; the formula would not do well on my dry cheeks otherwise.

Next up, the High Glosses. Three shades managed to find their way into my cart and subsequently into my home. I purchased Klear (::eye roll::), Diva (::shrug::), and Daddy's Girl (::cringe::) for $16 apiece. Texture wise these are thicc. They do not start off as particularly sticky or tacky, but they are a lip gloss afterall and, after some wear, the gloss wears away leaving a tacky residue, as most glosses do. The scent is vanilla + something else I can't place. It's sharp like citrus or mint but I don't think it's either. It's reminiscent of the smell of Fenty's Gloss Bomb, which I also cannot stand (the scent, not the product. Love Gloss Bomb). If anyone knows what it is, please tell me so I can tell Kylie it sucks. She'd totes take my advice and change it immediately, I'm sure.

I wanted to see if Klear would give Glossier's Lip Gloss a run for its money - it does not. Not to say it's a bad gloss at all, just that when I reach for a clear gloss I still reach for Glossier over Klear. Maybe it's because they know how to spell? (It's actually because the Glossier has a better formula and is unscented). Diva is my favorite of the three, the color, a nude, brown based pink is opaque, not patchy, and makes my lips look sensuous. Daddy's girl is a translucent pale pink with copper shimmer. In the tube it looks agressive but on the lips it's very subtle and approachable. While we're here, let's talk about how Daddy's Girl needs a new name. Call it Party Dress. Sprinkles. Cupcake. Vajazzle. Literally anything other than Daddy's Girl would be an improvement. Anyway...

I think my favorite part of these glosses is the packaging. The tubes are fat. I'm a sucker for the millennial pink caps. The doe foot applicator is ginormous and fun. Clearly they are super photogenic and visually appealing on a vanity or in a makeup bag. While I've been enjoying them, I do not plan to add any more colors to my kollection (heh) as I reach for other glosses I own over these consistently. For High Gloss, aesthetics outweigh formula.

So, the big question: Am I joining the cult? Nah. I might plus one my way into to the best parties they throw and occasionally peruse the brochure or stalk their social media without ever hitting the "follow" button but I'll never be a full fledged member. That is unless Kris agrees to be my momager. Then, bible, I'm in.



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